Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
