we have officially lost it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
