They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize