I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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