Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
