her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
