marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
