I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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