Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
