I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
