so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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