Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
