The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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