He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
