I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
