I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
