Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
