508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
