Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
this will be a night to untag.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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