He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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