your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
