Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
