I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
