I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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