as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
