Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
