she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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