sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize