I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize