If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
