I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
