but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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