One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
