do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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