I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
