ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
