I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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