so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
