He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
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My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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