This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
