I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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