She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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