if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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