He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
