I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
