a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
