You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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