I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
