he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
