We won't sleep together?
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
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That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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