So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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