Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize