During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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