doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
