Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
