Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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