Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
