Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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